In the last little over a year my oldest son passed away, this last summer in july I think, my twenty one year old grandson died. About two months ago my youngest son died. I am having a hard time getting a grip on this. It is two much for me to take. I am not suicidal, but I did start smoking again, trying to quit. I been only smoking between 1 and 4 cigarettes a day. I spent most of my adult life in domestic violence and near death situations. I will never give up my faith in God ever. Life can take my life but it can’t take my soul that belongs to God. Since I moved back to New York my faith has got stronger. I started going to church, taught adult Sunday school, doing a ministry in a nursing not teaching but just visiting them and letting them know someone cares about them. I did some adult bible study in the apartment building where I live but this last year I haven’t and because of my disability and all I haven’t been to church. I even started painting again. But I still am struggling with my grief. I am 67 years old now, my life has been hard, I have Ptsd, and my doctor wants me to go to mental health but I refuse to go. God has got me through life far and he will get me through to the end. He has always been my strengh and no matter what life throws at me He will bring me through it. He is my rock. Yesterday i looked at the boom box that was my brothers and I ended up with it. I decided to put it on my stand next to my bed and turned it on the radio and tried to find a station. I found yours and I went to sleep listening to it. Last night I didn.t have a nightmare. God is awesome! First good night sleep I have had in a long time. I don’t need to find anymore stations, this boombox will stay on this station.